How do we make the rules?

I recently read a post bemoaning how people are getting 24 hour bans from Facebook for posting “Cathy Brennan is a fake goth” memes, and anti-racist pages are taken down, while all kinds of prejudicial people and groups are free to post hateful remarks. Continue reading



I dreamt
I swallowed the ocean
Or it swallowed me
My throat a pillar of salt
I joined my ancestors
On peaks above the jungle
They left me to watch
And to remember
But salt burns the living
In a thousand tiny cuts
Like the lime juice
My grandmother
Washes over her hands
To slow the marks of age
The freckles passed down to me
Fading into brown skin
Till the sun calls
I will not forget
I shout

Sex and Disability

Note: this is a growing field, with more resources being created all the time.  This list is neither comprehensive, nor particularly in depth in various directions.  I am simply attempting to provide a good starting point on various topics. As always suggestions are welcome. Continue reading

Resources: for abusers

This list is for people who want to help abusers stop being abusive and engage with their actions, for people who want to know if they are abusers and what to do about it. If you are or have been abused please read this list. If you are worried that you will become an abuser because you have been abused please read this list.

If you are concerned you may be abusive, some hotlines provide resources to help identify abusive behaviors both online and via their hotlines:

This site has pdfs, gender specific hotlines, and youth and Spanish language hotlines.

This hotline site has resources and guides.

For former abusers who are trying to improve:

This article as a good starting point.

This is a slightly older resource list.

Peer and community support can also be helpful.

Youth hotline

How to talk to a friend about their abusive behavior.

Feminist guide to accountability

Resources: the cycle of abuse

This resource is to dispel the myth that victims become abusers, and provide resources for people who are afraid that they may one day become abusive because of they are victims of abuse. For more resources if believe you may be being abused check out this post.  If you are worried that you might be an abuser or were an abuser in the past, check out this list.
Continue reading

Resources for unhealthy relationship

If you feel bad or unsafe, trust your instinct (it is probably right) and listen to your instinct (take steps to protect yourself).

The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233. Anyone can call anytime.
The website also has many resources, for friends and family, LGBT, immigration, abusers, etc.

Warning signs of an unhealthy relationship in several different languages:

Resources regarding abusers can be found at this list. Continue reading